TGIF

Friday, September 27, 2013 Because of the week and weeks I've been having, I decided to check into the school I went to today. Since the school had a website (and not all schools do), I was able to look up the teacher's name that I was filling in for and know the grade: 6th. But when I looked down at the list of teachers I recognized the name of a teacher I worked with in my first year. I was so happy! I sent her a message on Facebook letting her know I would be there. The sub system listed the start/end time at 8am-3:30. Because the end time was 3:30, start time is supposed to be 8:30. I assumed the 8am start time was so I got there early...I was wrong. So I pulled up at 7:55 only to struggle to find a place to park...then realized there were two different buildings and, of course, I entered the wrong building and had to run to the next. The secretary told me the teacher I know was in the classroom with the 6th graders I was teaching and I was relieved. When I got up to the third floor, I saw my friend and had to try not to cry. I know it sounds stupid but after this long week, I was emotionally drained. It was a relief to see a friendly face. I ended up having a good day and never raised my voice once. The school I was in was predominantly Hispanic but also African American and White students. It was a nice mix of respectful and good kids. A nice ending to a horrible week. Today, I just wanted to cry. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Substitute teaching is not simply a paycheck for me. I LOVE to teach. I don't want to just babysit and hand out busy work. But I understand that teachers leave real lessons only to find out that the sub didn't follow them. But everyday I wake up and drive to a school that I don't know. I never know what grade or the students or staff. I never know how strict I have to be so I am not taken advantage of. Some days just really get to me. When I started teaching, I wanted to teach where I was really needed, thinking I could make a difference but I don't believe this anymore. I shouldn't have to fight with students to get them to learn and want to learn. Teachers keep getting blamed for students not doing well in schools but if you only knew what they go through every day. I really believe that when parents or families are involved and care, the schools are better and teachers feel supported. Off for the weekend!